Once more, with feeling

mood: relieved

music: Senior Year Spring Musical - HSM 3 Cast

I just finished reading American Psycho and boy, am I glad I did. I don't mean that I'm glad I read it, in fact, I'm kind of regretting it, but I'm glad it's done and I don't have to feel as nauseous anymore.

I'm not gonna lie, I pretty much LOVED the movie avec the incredibly Christian Bale but this was just too much for me. At first glance, Bret Easton Ellis's controversial book seems pretty interesting as it satirizes the monotonous and horribly bland life on Wall Street in the 80s. At times, it even verges on hilarious (the way-too-detailed descriptions of Bateman’s Whitney Houston obsession are a hoot and a half). But then things get really dark and disturbing.

 I don't want to think about, let alone talk about, the exact things Patrick Bateman does to his victims - homeless men, random women, co-workers, prostitutes , animals and even, gag me, children -  but I will say this:  do not read this book if you cannot handle extremely graphic descriptions of torture and violent sexual acts. To say that the descriptions are brutal is down playing it. At some points I was on the verge of throwing up (and I was on the subway!) and I pride myself on being able to handle even the most explicit horror flicks.

My advice to those interested in the book is to see the movie first. If you can handle it then give the book a try. But don’t be afraid to skip some passages. You’ll save yourself some serious nightmares. Or even skip the book and just see the movie. It summarizes the main point of the book without the horrifying rape scenes and cringe-worthy gore.

mood: geeky

music: Where Did Our Love Go - Diana Ross and the Supremes

I'm in love with Nicholas Sparks' new book, The Lucky One - only I've never read it.

You see, the truth is, I'm mystified by the gorgeous cover. I've always been a sucker for anything involving starry nights or ferris wheels and so mixing the two into one truly epic book cover is like injecting me with a shot of pure endorphins. And you know what Elle Woods says! Endorphins make you happy and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.

Moving onto something actually relevant and not just awesome.  I'm not even that keen on the story - something about a man who tries to find a mysterious woman whose picture he randomly finds - but I want to read this book just because of the delicious outside. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover but I'm helpless when it comes to simple beauty like this. That sounds like a cliché and a half but who cares. We're talking Nicholas Sparks right now and he's obsessed (or is possessed?) with clichés so why can't I enjoy some my own loving spoonful of cheesy goodness?

Speaking of Monsieur Sparks, I have still yet to see Nights in Rodanthe.  I know it looks slightly lame but I love those middle-aged-woman-finds-love-and-herself-along-the-way kinds of movies. They're just what you need to warm you up on a chilly October weekend. Just add some chai tea and a little Lindt 70% dark chocolate and you've got the most perfect evening ever.

My conversations always seem to lead to dark chocolate, don't they? So weird. Anywhos, the point is  I need to see this movie this weekend. If I don't, I might have to cut someone. Not literally. I'm just being melodramatic. Or maybe my constant reading of American Psycho has turned me homicidal (that book is destroying my soul and filling it simultaneously! I don't know whether I should rejoice or simply return some videotapes). Maybe I should read The Lucky One or at least something that doesn't involve beheading and power suits.

P.S - This Nicholas talk has got me thinking about another Nick that's been on my mind as of this moment - Nick Andopolis. I had a dream last night that he - well, technically, really Jason Segel (Gah! Lindsay Weir is on the TV!! Well, it's not really her, but it's Linda Cardinelli on ER. But still, crazy weird) because he and Nick seem to be quite similar - and I had, well, a sleepover. Not the kind you're thinking of though. Just a plain old sleepover. None of this suggestive stuff. Just late-night beside convos and ice cream.  It was so weird but kind of amazing. I have no idea what it means and I don't think I want to.

It's like that dream I had many moons ago when Britney was still riding the sane train. She was taking me on this musical tour of this beach, only it wasn't a real beach, it was inside like one of those indoor volleyball places. But the sand was real and so soft. It was so strange but somehow I remember it vividly.

Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw (if you haven't seen Heathers, please close the window now and hold your head down in shame). American Psycho is going to be a Broadway musical!!

I don't really understand how in the hell they're going to make it appropriate for Broadway audiences, what with all the gratuitous sex and the naked chainsaw wielding, but who I am to say it's not possible? I mean, Patrick Bateman does have quite the taste for pop music, so perhaps they could have him dance and sing to "Hip to be Square" whilst killing a singing Paul Allen? Oooh, or "I'm Walking on Sunshine"?!  God, that's a freakin weird image, but I guess if Sweeney Todd can work out as a musical, then anything goes right? But then again, Sweeney had Sondheim at it's helm. Also, Sweeney actually had a reason for his murders - revenge. Patrick however, is just a poor sap of a yuppie who likes to "cut up girls for fun".

We'll see how this musical thing turns out. Could be genius or completely ridic. But hey, if Christian Bale is in it I'll be there with freaking bells, whistles and the whole shebang on. I don't care if its psycho, I'd give anything to see Christian singing and running around in his skivvies.

P.S – Is it just me or was True Blood making a reference to American Psycho when Jason pointed at the mirror while doing way-to-nasty-for-network-tv things that waitress chick? I think so. Oh my god. I just realized the relevance of that. Could it be a subtle hint to the keen viewer that Jason really is the mysterious murderer?  Holy crap. I think I just figured the plot out. Thank god for Patrick Bateman and his weird kinky habits.

Okay I think I'm seriously disturbed. While most normal and well adjusted individuals would find Patrick Bateman (aka. Mr. Bale's chainsaw-wielding yuppie in American Psycho) to be a complete freak, I am slightly attracted to him. Actually extremely, out of this world attracted to him.  It's a problem.

I know that's its really just because Christian's bod is pretty much rock solid in this movie (oh baby, give me that work out scene on repeat for the rest of my life and I would be one happy woman) but it still seems weird to have the hots for such a well - psycho.

I mean, this is the guy who fillets women after making them do extremely sickening sexual acts with him and who feels no remorse after killing an innocent homeless man but somehow, I still desperately want to jump his bones. This is what happens when you watch too many slasher flicks as a child. I am so screwed up it’s not even funny.

But even if I am the victim of an overly violent selection of childhood viewing materials, I don’t think it’s completely my fault that I feel weak in the knees for a murderous freak.  How can I help but swoon when they make Patrick Bateman looks like a freakin chiselled god? He’s just crying out for the unhealthy affections of fangirls everywhere.  It's sad to say but that actually makes me feel better about my weird obsession. My god, I think I really am insane.

If you know me at all, you will know that I have quite the pension for quirky, pop culture referencing tees. One of my favourite sites to look for the perfect witty edition to my closet is bustedtees.com. Today I took a gander at their ever-growing selection and I have to tell you, I pretty much want everything. Here are a few of my favourites from the site.

Now here's something truly Funnie. Honk if you love Doug! J

Damn it, not again. Do you ever get to finish “Oregon Trail”? If only they had a math circus one then my I could officially say that I had regressed to third grade computers class.

 If you don’t like this shirt then I have only one thing to say to you. How rude! 

Dear bustedtees.com,

 I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy! 



Remember kids, this is not a trick. It’s an illusion. Tricks are what whores do for money. 



Johnny Castle always has the right moves. P.S - "Road House" is on TV tonight. Coincidence, I think not!



This shirt is tastefully thick with it's off-white - or is it bone? -  colouring. All others should be ashamed.



Oh Jessie, darling. Hot Sundae can survive without you and your caffeine pills for one night. 



This shirt certainly is well done. J 

Off I go to look up some more fantastic shirts. Tomorrow I'm off to Buffalo where I'm sure I'll come back with at least one tee. After all, Hot Topic's got those kick ass "Twilight" tees now (check them out below). Man, I can't wait. Just think about it. If everything goes as planned my trip will include Twilight, the Olive Garden (aka. the holy grail of chain restaurants), IHOP, Darien Lake and The Jo Bros. Can you really ask for more? 

mood: tired

music: Can I Kick It? - Tribe Called Quest

Holy shit. Just when I thought life couldn't get weirder, Christian Bale has been arrested for assault on his sister and mother. I am truly crushed. I was just started to love Bale and his extreme hotness, but now, I'm a bit worried. I was even considering watching "American Psycho" but now, I'm totally rethinking it. I'm not sure I can take any more creepy Christian stuff especially when it has to do with hurting innocent ladies.

For now, I'm just going to keep thinking of him as the ever-glorious Batman for now, and hope that this story is all a lie or publicity stunt. And if it's not, I'll just keep looking at this hot ass picture of him and hope that all the badness will go away soon. Mmm.......check out that six pack! Damn you Christian, why are you such a stone fox?

UPDATE - 6:05 p.m. : Christian has been released after questioning. Thank god. 

I'd also like to point out that according to an article by the LA Times, Christian's mama is a former circus clown. Can you say, fun and slightly creepy fact of the day!?