Once more, with feeling

I didn't really think there was an angst-ridden mid-90s riot-grrrl  hidden inside my shy little nerdy persona but at this point, I’m pretty much one step away from rocking the oversized flannel and Doc Martins. What has happened to me, you ask? I'm hopelessly strung out on the genius that is "Jagged Little Pill".

I don't know what came over me today but I somehow decided I needed to listen to the CD from start to finish. I'm not even a big Alanis fan so this seemed quite out of character for me but I'm glad I did it because it was kickass. I remember my cousin being obsessed with Alanis back in the day and playing this CD during one of our family dinners. It was funny because he kept covering my ears to keep out the swearing and the frank sexual stuff but somehow no one bothered to turn it off. I guess it was that good.  Plus, I was a damaged kid anyways. I mean, I was watching Halloween at 9. My brother's the same age now and I bet he couldn't even make it through the opening credits.

Enough about me though, it's all about Alanis. My god, this girl can wail. I forget how great she is until I hear her totally belt out "You Outta Know" with that irresistibly bitter growl of hers. Man, it's good.

Oh, and what about the lyrics. So friggin' good. One my personal favs as of right now is "Mary Jane" - a sad tale about a girl on a downward spiral. At one point Alanis tells her not to "censor her tears". I don't know why but for some reason that phrase seems so heavy and wonderful.  Another line that really hit me was this part in "Right Through You".  Alanis says, "Wait a minute sir. You kind of hurt my feelings. You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet and you've got a meal ticket taste." Where does she come up with this stuff? It's like lyrical dark chocolate. The words scream bitter but somehow the way it's worded somehow sounds sweet.

"Not the Doctor" is also great and weirdly John Mayer sounding, at least tune-wise.  It's funny because he has a song with the same name too but it's not nearly as h-core. I mean, do John's lyrics ever seem biting and spiteful? Well, maybe. I mean, my fav John track, "No Such Thing" is pretty much a pretty-sounding kiss-off his high school and it's horribly plastic “inside-the-lines” ideals but it's nowhere near as cheeky and harsh as "You Oughta Know" is. Plus, even though John is some tabloid lothario, he doesn't strike as the type to sing out something as stinging as this:  "When I scratch my nails against someone else's back, I hope you feel it. Oh can you feel it?" I don't know though, I've heard he's got quite the potty mouth when he's not killing it with the guitar riffs and the rasp-tastic vocals.

Enough about John though. This is about Alanis. Another one of my favs off this infinitely addictive drug of a CD (the title is just so ironic, don't ya think?) is "Head Over Feet". Although I haven't truly been in lurve before I just get this feeling that I'm going to find this song especially poignant when I - or rather  if - I do. The whole song Alanis is essentially battling with her strange new lovey-dovey feelings. As she says, she's not used to liking being treated like a princess or having the door held open for her but this love has "swallowed [her] whole". I hate just looking at couples being all mushy with each other and I squirm at the thought of someone overwhelming me with sugary-sweet comments and pet names. But from what I hear, when you meet the right person, somehow things change. I'll have to see it to believe it but if the same girl who says she went down on a guy in a theatre ("You Oughta Know") is saying these things then maybe they are true. I mean, at one point Alanis sings that she never felt as healthy as she did when she got swallowed by the love-beast.  That's a pretty big statement.

Frig. Alanis is too cool for school. No wonder she was God in Dogma. I mean, this woman is an amazing mess. One minute she’s sweet and the next minute she’s a spitfire of spite. It’s awesome. I wish I could be so dimensional and openly emotional.  But hey, I’m happy that someone gets out my angst for me. Otherwise, I’d go crazy.

A part of me wishes I was old enough to have experienced the greatness of "Jagged Little Pill" when it was at its prime. I mean, it was legendary. It's one of those CDs that everyone agrees is beyond amazing. I can't even imagine the intensity of her "Jagged Little Pill" tour back in the day. It must have been a rush. Kind of like  what I imagine it was like seeing  No Doubt on their "Tragic Kingdom" tour or watching Ben Folds Five doing “Whatever and Amen” live. I don't care what anyone says, even despite some ot the cheesy pop stuff (and hey, I still love that like a crazy woman), the 90s were a kickass time for music. Why couldn't I have been born earlier and gotten to truly experience it??!

I’ve been having this weird yearning for a time machine ever since the NKOTB concert a few weeks ago. I mean, I enjoyed it but I looked at these 30-year-old ladies who clearly had been fans back when they were actually "new kids" and they were having the times of their lives. I felt like I was missing an important piece of the puzzle and it made me nostalgic for a time I would have never been able to experience even if I tried. It was strangely disheartening.

Man, can you believe I just went from Alanis to NKOTB? I'm clearly a mess of emotions right now.

All this Alanis talk is somehow making me want to watch MSCL. I know that Angela was around before Ms Morrisette hit the scene but somehow I think, in her humble opinion, Angelika would have considered her a good friend. And maybe, just maybe, when she finally realized that Jordan wasn't the one, she would listen to this CD on repeat and dance around her room like she did with the Violent Femmes.  Or maybe I'm just thinking through this too much? Oh, fuck it, who cares. I know my favourite introspective 90s chicks would approve.

P.S. - Mucho thanks to Amazon and Britannica (for serious) for le Alanis pics. Also, much love to the Deciders of Awesome for Miss Angelika's pic.

P.P.S - Is it weird that I have the humungoid craving to watch Reality Bites?! All this talk about kickass 90s girls has got me wanting some Winona - who I have loved since like the beginning of time - in my life.